Oregon Driver's Licenses Should Not Be Valid in the Other 49 States

It's shocking how bad at driving most people in Oregon are. Now, I'm not the greatest driver by any measure (I've crashed into or been crashed into by just about everything you can imagine), but there are a few basic concepts even I can figure out. "Cars on the left go faster" is one of these. I believe that's actually something most driving schools in Washington emphasize.

Apparently not in Oregon. I make the trip from Salem, Oregon to Seattle by car pretty frequently. The speed limit on Interstate 5 from Salem to Portland is 65 miles per hour for the most part. For your average, rational person, that means driving somewhere between, say, 65 and 75. These people do not exist in Oregon. Literally every time I've made the trip, there is some dumb-hole driving in the "fast" lane, traveling at some speed in the 40s, completely oblivious to any of his or her surroundings. I've actually made it the entire 50 or so miles from Salem to the Washington-Oregon border only able to pass cars on the right (which, you know, isn't supposed to be how it works).

Oregonians also somehow manage to leave an amount of space between cars approximately four inches less than that required for a small car to merge into a lane. There's something to be said for not tailgating, but come on...

I like living in your state, people of Oregon. I really do. And I'll give you credit for being way nicer to people on bicycles (like me!) than the average Seattle driver. But please, can you learn how to drive the rest of the way?

Now get off my lawn!