29 December 2010
19 December 2010
Oregon Driver's Licenses Should Not Be Valid in the Other 49 States
Apparently not in Oregon. I make the trip from Salem, Oregon to Seattle by car pretty frequently. The speed limit on Interstate 5 from Salem to Portland is 65 miles per hour for the most part. For your average, rational person, that means driving somewhere between, say, 65 and 75. These people do not exist in Oregon. Literally every time I've made the trip, there is some dumb-hole driving in the "fast" lane, traveling at some speed in the 40s, completely oblivious to any of his or her surroundings. I've actually made it the entire 50 or so miles from Salem to the Washington-Oregon border only able to pass cars on the right (which, you know, isn't supposed to be how it works).
Oregonians also somehow manage to leave an amount of space between cars approximately four inches less than that required for a small car to merge into a lane. There's something to be said for not tailgating, but come on...
I like living in your state, people of Oregon. I really do. And I'll give you credit for being way nicer to people on bicycles (like me!) than the average Seattle driver. But please, can you learn how to drive the rest of the way?
Now get off my lawn!
14 December 2010
The Ban on Republicans Invoking 9/11 Starts Now
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Lame-as-F@#k Congress | ||||
| ||||
06 December 2010
Mondays
I was going to post a .gif of a little boy trying to punch a snowman and failing/falling over... ya know, to illustrate how Mondays always feel like a giant fail. Then I couldn't get the .gif to embed properly in the post... Meta fail.
02 December 2010
The Dickishness Of The GOP - The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan
Andrew Sullivan says everything in my head a lot more eloquently than I ever could. Read the whole thing.
The Dickishness Of The GOP - The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan
The Dickishness Of The GOP - The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan
30 November 2010
28 November 2010
02 November 2010
Watching Washington Voters Fuck Themselves From Afar
Hi, Washington! I registered to vote in Oregon when I moved down here for school. Let's take a look what you guys have done while I've been gone:
Initiative 1098, which would tax rich people a little bit on income while lowering property taxes for everyone looks like it's going to fail. It would solve a decent chunk of the state's budget problem, and lower taxes for the vast majority of people voting for it, but apparently it's unacceptable for a few rich people to pay their fair share (because the way things are now, they don't).
Want to make sure the state never collects another tax dollar again? Reinstating the absurd Tim Eyman two-thirds vote requirement for tax increases will make sure that gets accomplished.* And go ahead, repeal a tax on soda, candy, and all the high-fructose-poison-shit making your kids fat. It's a "tax on food," after all.
I mostly dislike the initiative process, because in just about every instance it's money rather than the people that ends up making the decision. Not to mention that these pieces of shit haven't helped things.
But come on, Washington. Are you really this fucking stupid? If you are, you deserve to have your state collapse around you. I'll be watching from down here.**
* Because it's totally democratic for the Teabagging 34 percent of the legislature that can block tax increases to hold the whole state budget hostage.
** Not to say Oregon's festival-o-initiatives is much better.
Initiative 1098, which would tax rich people a little bit on income while lowering property taxes for everyone looks like it's going to fail. It would solve a decent chunk of the state's budget problem, and lower taxes for the vast majority of people voting for it, but apparently it's unacceptable for a few rich people to pay their fair share (because the way things are now, they don't).
Want to make sure the state never collects another tax dollar again? Reinstating the absurd Tim Eyman two-thirds vote requirement for tax increases will make sure that gets accomplished.* And go ahead, repeal a tax on soda, candy, and all the high-fructose-poison-shit making your kids fat. It's a "tax on food," after all.
I mostly dislike the initiative process, because in just about every instance it's money rather than the people that ends up making the decision. Not to mention that these pieces of shit haven't helped things.
But come on, Washington. Are you really this fucking stupid? If you are, you deserve to have your state collapse around you. I'll be watching from down here.**
* Because it's totally democratic for the Teabagging 34 percent of the legislature that can block tax increases to hold the whole state budget hostage.
** Not to say Oregon's festival-o-initiatives is much better.
01 November 2010
Ch-ch-ch-changes!
Things have been crazy recently in the lives of Team McCulleken, (Gadeculloch?) We've both let content on this blog fall off a cliff, especially Garrett who was the main author. Here's an explanation of why:
Law school, moving, a wedding, and more moving. Mostly it's the law school. Each of those items could take up several posts on their own to get out all the details, but I don't have time right now. Maybe someday.
The Reader's Digest version:
Garrett started law school in August. His school is in Oregon, a whole 4 hours away from our lovely home in Seattle. I, however, remain in the North. So while his spare time has evaporated in a sea of memo writing and law-book-reading, mine has been eaten up by moving out of our too-expensive apartment in the city, being in a dear and wonderful friend's wedding, and traveling down to OR as often as I can to get some face time with G-Money.
Maybe now that the big wedding is over and I am all done moving I will have some more time to write here. I am not very optimistic though because all of my past attempts to blog have been utter failures. I suppose I just don't have the attention span.
Garrett will probably start writing again in 3 years after he's passed the bar exam ... or in a month when he gets a break for the holidays. ONLY TIME WILL TELL!!!
Shoot, I wish we were more exciting.
Law school, moving, a wedding, and more moving. Mostly it's the law school. Each of those items could take up several posts on their own to get out all the details, but I don't have time right now. Maybe someday.
The Reader's Digest version:
Garrett started law school in August. His school is in Oregon, a whole 4 hours away from our lovely home in Seattle. I, however, remain in the North. So while his spare time has evaporated in a sea of memo writing and law-book-reading, mine has been eaten up by moving out of our too-expensive apartment in the city, being in a dear and wonderful friend's wedding, and traveling down to OR as often as I can to get some face time with G-Money.
Maybe now that the big wedding is over and I am all done moving I will have some more time to write here. I am not very optimistic though because all of my past attempts to blog have been utter failures. I suppose I just don't have the attention span.
Garrett will probably start writing again in 3 years after he's passed the bar exam ... or in a month when he gets a break for the holidays. ONLY TIME WILL TELL!!!
Shoot, I wish we were more exciting.
02 September 2010
.500!
But look at that! 52-81! If they go 29-0 from here on out, they could still finish the season at .500!
* And to think, at the beginning of the season I thought it was unfortunate that I was starting school, because wouldn't be able to catch much of the M's big "playoff run." Oh, silly me.
09 August 2010
Bullshit, If You Ask Me...
U.S.S. Mariner has a pretty good rundown of what they think happened, which I and my massive array of insider baseball knowledge are inclined to agree with.
Sure, sometimes Wak's "belief systems" were about 180 degrees from the reality staring him in the face, but I liked his managerial style. Even if Ken "Can't Accept That I'm 40 And Not Good At Baseball Anymore" Griffey, Jr. didn't. I don't think he deserved the amount of fallout he got from Chone Figgins' little blowout a few weeks ago, either. Hell, Chone's even been hitting the last few weeks.
Sorry, Little M's. I know your record's 42-2,600 or something, and you had to make some kind of statement, but I think this one's gonna come back to bite you in the ass.
19 July 2010
The Most Useless Sign in the Universe
This street sign is a few blocks from my apartment:
I find it amusing.
The Seattle Times: Masters of Logic
The Seattle Times editorial board annoys the living piss out of me, but can't they at least be consistent while they're at it?
Today it was another run-of-the-mill dose of anti-tax rhetoric, this time "arguing" that Seattle Mayor Mike McGinn should set aside a bunch of bike and pedestrian infrastructure plans that would have to be paid for by a parking-lot tax and a car-tab fee. Of course, they pull out the usual "you shouldn't raise taxes in a recession" bullshit (an assertion they make all the time in editorials, and always back up with nothing).
But exactly two weeks ago the same ed board was railing against McGinn for "obstructing" the giant tunnel proposed to replace the Alaskan Way Viaduct — which means trying to ensure the city doesn't get stuck with a bill for one shit-ton of dollars in cost overruns. The average tunnel or bridge goes over budget by 34 percent (the number's buried way at the bottom of that story) — and this one, at 56 feet in diameter, would be the biggest tunnel the world's ever deep-bored. Nah, not risky at all.
So Seattle can't afford any new projects right now. Except for that mammoth, overpriced freeway, the costs of which dwarf any pedestrian or bike improvements we could ever hope to make. Sure, Seattle Times, that makes sense.
Although I shouldn't be by now, I'm still amazed those guys manage to put out such condescending, uninformed assholery day in and day out.
Today it was another run-of-the-mill dose of anti-tax rhetoric, this time "arguing" that Seattle Mayor Mike McGinn should set aside a bunch of bike and pedestrian infrastructure plans that would have to be paid for by a parking-lot tax and a car-tab fee. Of course, they pull out the usual "you shouldn't raise taxes in a recession" bullshit (an assertion they make all the time in editorials, and always back up with nothing).
But exactly two weeks ago the same ed board was railing against McGinn for "obstructing" the giant tunnel proposed to replace the Alaskan Way Viaduct — which means trying to ensure the city doesn't get stuck with a bill for one shit-ton of dollars in cost overruns. The average tunnel or bridge goes over budget by 34 percent (the number's buried way at the bottom of that story) — and this one, at 56 feet in diameter, would be the biggest tunnel the world's ever deep-bored. Nah, not risky at all.
So Seattle can't afford any new projects right now. Except for that mammoth, overpriced freeway, the costs of which dwarf any pedestrian or bike improvements we could ever hope to make. Sure, Seattle Times, that makes sense.
Although I shouldn't be by now, I'm still amazed those guys manage to put out such condescending, uninformed assholery day in and day out.
11 July 2010
Soccer: How?
The World Cup final is in extra time as I'm writing this. It's tied--at zero. I'm not one of those people who runs around badmouthing soccer or anything (well, maybe I kind of am), but I really can't understand how this is the most popular sport in the world.
I mean, it's alright...I guess. But it's hard to see how this is the game that everyone else in the world gets fanatical about and has riots over. Seriously, for 20- and 40-miunute stretches, NOTHING HAPPENS in soccer. People talk about baseball being slow, but at least there's the potential for some action with every pitch.
Whatever. I'm rooting for the Netherlands in what's left of this game. But only because they're orange.
I mean, it's alright...I guess. But it's hard to see how this is the game that everyone else in the world gets fanatical about and has riots over. Seriously, for 20- and 40-miunute stretches, NOTHING HAPPENS in soccer. People talk about baseball being slow, but at least there's the potential for some action with every pitch.
Whatever. I'm rooting for the Netherlands in what's left of this game. But only because they're orange.
01 July 2010
When One of These Two Things Inevitably Happens This Month...
...it will make me very sad.
In a year when the Mariners have managed to suck in just about every measurable way, Cliff Lee has been absolutely amazing. Last night was the "bad one" of his last three starts — he allowed three runs and a walk in a complete-game win against the Yankees, who are tied for the best record in baseball. And afterwards, he was pissed about the one base on balls. The dude has only walked five batters the whole season.
Yeah. It'll be sad when he goes. We better get something good for him.
*** Also, I feel compelled to state that this is the only thing I consider a New York Mets hat. Unfortunately the black monstrosity displayed above turned out to be way easier to Photoshop. So there.
Update: Yeah, totally nailed that prediction, didn't I?
The Seattle Times Thinks the State Income Tax Initiative Will Murder Children, Eat Kittens and Sand Your Grandmother's Face Off
Does anyone who isn't an angry, elderly Republican take the Seattle Times editorial board seriously? They put another editorial up yesterday afternoon, saying Initiative 1098, the income-tax-on-the-rich proposal sponsored by Bill Gates Sr., will be the end of the fucking world.
I honestly think the Times ed board all sit around in a room and start screaming whenever anyone says the word "tax." Every time a new tax proposal comes up, for any reason, they immediately pump out some hysterical bullshit about why it's a terrible idea that will obliterate business, destroy jobs and generally do just about everything they can think of that is bad (not backing any of this up with actual facts or anything, of course).
What really gets to me about this editorial is how they manage to entirely ignore that a new income tax will come conveniently packaged with a 20 percent reduction in state property taxes — one of those "middle class tax cuts" the Times loves to champion when rich people's extra cash isn't at stake.
I've written letters to the editor when they've published garbage like this in the past. They're a nice idea in theory, but they don't really accomplish anything. The process usually goes something like this:
If anyone's interested, I included an example of the Times' dumbing-down of one of my letters below the jump:
I honestly think the Times ed board all sit around in a room and start screaming whenever anyone says the word "tax." Every time a new tax proposal comes up, for any reason, they immediately pump out some hysterical bullshit about why it's a terrible idea that will obliterate business, destroy jobs and generally do just about everything they can think of that is bad (not backing any of this up with actual facts or anything, of course).
What really gets to me about this editorial is how they manage to entirely ignore that a new income tax will come conveniently packaged with a 20 percent reduction in state property taxes — one of those "middle class tax cuts" the Times loves to champion when rich people's extra cash isn't at stake.
I've written letters to the editor when they've published garbage like this in the past. They're a nice idea in theory, but they don't really accomplish anything. The process usually goes something like this:
- I triumphantly e-mail a fiery but well-written letter.
- They edit it — removing and/or watering down just about every point I make
- They publish the letter with their edits included and my name at the end, thus making me look like an idiot who doesn't have well-thought-out opinions.
If anyone's interested, I included an example of the Times' dumbing-down of one of my letters below the jump:
28 June 2010
Fuck You, Ted C. Barr!
I took this picture many, many months ago, but it seems like I've been seeing this ad on the back of the 8 bus all the time:
"Screw those people I might kill...If I get a DUI I'll have to ride a bus! With all the poor people!" Guess what, Ted C. Barr — I ride the bus on purpose. I don't even have any DUI convictions. Hell, I don't even drive drunk.
This is the kind of attitude people need to get over before we'll be able to have decent transit around here. Cars always seem to be treated as the default option. The state and federal governments will throw piles of cash at road projects, but if you want to raise your own local taxes so you can keep your buses running, Olympia will kindly ask you to sod off. Granted, Metro buses can be pretty unpleasant at times (and this very route is a prime example), but driving and parking a car in and around Seattle is pretty shitty in itself — and that's with our government subsidizing the hell out of the practice.
Uncle Metro isn't all bad, either. I'd pick a 20-minute, $2.25 bus trip downtown over a traffic and anger-laden drive, topped off with $2.50 per hour, impossible to find street parking, any day.
This is the kind of attitude people need to get over before we'll be able to have decent transit around here. Cars always seem to be treated as the default option. The state and federal governments will throw piles of cash at road projects, but if you want to raise your own local taxes so you can keep your buses running, Olympia will kindly ask you to sod off. Granted, Metro buses can be pretty unpleasant at times (and this very route is a prime example), but driving and parking a car in and around Seattle is pretty shitty in itself — and that's with our government subsidizing the hell out of the practice.
Uncle Metro isn't all bad, either. I'd pick a 20-minute, $2.25 bus trip downtown over a traffic and anger-laden drive, topped off with $2.50 per hour, impossible to find street parking, any day.
23 June 2010
The Insanest Sports Day I've Seen in a While
If Zach Anner Doesn't Win I Will Cry and Possibly Kick a Puppy.
Oprah has taken a break from her book club and swimming in her wave pool of cash a la Scrooge McDuck in order to set up a little contest. She wants to give one of us peasants our very own show to play on the Teevee.
Naturally, about a bajillion people have submitted video auditions for their various show ideas. Some are probably legit, most are bullshit. NONE OF THEM MATTER!!!
The winner is already obvious. His name is Zach Anner, and he's awesome.
Zach has Cerebral Palsy, which he notes is "the sexiest of the palsies," and he wants to create a travel show for people who never thought they could travel. I love this on so many levels. He makes me laugh in that way where you can't breathe and you're not making any noise, just contorting your face like a gargoyle of mirth.
I adore his show concept. It's original and would actually serve a purpose. My grandparents spent much of their lives not going anywhere. Part of this was due to a depressing lack of interest, but part of it was because they were nervous about things they couldn't plan for or control. This would have been a great show for them.
All the other levels, I can't really put in to words other than to say: Zach is awesome. Please vote for him.
I don't know how to get his original audition to embed here, and even if I did, I wouldn't. Oprah might come after me, and I really value my knees and ability to not be in prison. You can find his hilarious audition tape here. Watch it now and fall in love like I did.
In light of his (hopefully) imminent victory, Zach also recorded a pilot for his show which I have embedded for your viewing pleasure.
Recently there have been some shenanigans afoot on the contest site. Somehow a competing submission for "Dr. Phyllis," a self help/advice show of some sort, (read: "BOOOORRINGGG,") racked up an astounding 300,000 votes in 20 minutes to take the lead from Zach. Fortunately the nerd masses of the intertubes caught the change, cried foul, and Zach has since regained the lead thanks to their subsequent nerd marketing efforts. But we need to make sure this can't happen again. If Zach doesn't win I will cry and I refuse to be held responsible for the well being of any small animals in the vicinity. Vote for ZACH! Do it for the puppies.
(ZachAnner)
Naturally, about a bajillion people have submitted video auditions for their various show ideas. Some are probably legit, most are bullshit. NONE OF THEM MATTER!!!
The winner is already obvious. His name is Zach Anner, and he's awesome.
Zach has Cerebral Palsy, which he notes is "the sexiest of the palsies," and he wants to create a travel show for people who never thought they could travel. I love this on so many levels. He makes me laugh in that way where you can't breathe and you're not making any noise, just contorting your face like a gargoyle of mirth.
I adore his show concept. It's original and would actually serve a purpose. My grandparents spent much of their lives not going anywhere. Part of this was due to a depressing lack of interest, but part of it was because they were nervous about things they couldn't plan for or control. This would have been a great show for them.
All the other levels, I can't really put in to words other than to say: Zach is awesome. Please vote for him.
I don't know how to get his original audition to embed here, and even if I did, I wouldn't. Oprah might come after me, and I really value my knees and ability to not be in prison. You can find his hilarious audition tape here. Watch it now and fall in love like I did.
In light of his (hopefully) imminent victory, Zach also recorded a pilot for his show which I have embedded for your viewing pleasure.
Recently there have been some shenanigans afoot on the contest site. Somehow a competing submission for "Dr. Phyllis," a self help/advice show of some sort, (read: "BOOOORRINGGG,") racked up an astounding 300,000 votes in 20 minutes to take the lead from Zach. Fortunately the nerd masses of the intertubes caught the change, cried foul, and Zach has since regained the lead thanks to their subsequent nerd marketing efforts. But we need to make sure this can't happen again. If Zach doesn't win I will cry and I refuse to be held responsible for the well being of any small animals in the vicinity. Vote for ZACH! Do it for the puppies.
(ZachAnner)
All I Want Today...
...is a paper-mail from the University of Washington that says "Hey, you should come to our law school*," and an e-mail that says "We shipped your god damned laptop."
Come on, I know one of you can pull through today!
Impatience causes me difficulties in life.
* At this point, i'd even take a "Stay the hell out of our law school, peasant!" Knowing what state I'm going to live in once August rolls around would be real nice.
Come on, I know one of you can pull through today!Impatience causes me difficulties in life.
* At this point, i'd even take a "Stay the hell out of our law school, peasant!" Knowing what state I'm going to live in once August rolls around would be real nice.
19 June 2010
Blue-washing
The top of Seahawks Stadium* used to look like this:
Actually, it looked worse than that. The once-white roof kind of looked like the mildewy inside of a seedy Aurora Avenue motel room shower, only three or four shades darker. Then, as of a couple days ago, it started to look like this:
And look! There are even little worker dudes on the top!
So they're painting the top of Seahawks Stadium blue. It's like what I do when something in my apartment is dirty--cover it up! They've only done this with the west-facing side so far. If they go this route with the other roof, the Seahawks are officially dead to me.
* And yes, it's called Seahawks Stadium. Neither Qwest Communications International, Inc. nor their $75 million have any bearing on what I call the place.
Actually, it looked worse than that. The once-white roof kind of looked like the mildewy inside of a seedy Aurora Avenue motel room shower, only three or four shades darker. Then, as of a couple days ago, it started to look like this:
And look! There are even little worker dudes on the top!
So they're painting the top of Seahawks Stadium blue. It's like what I do when something in my apartment is dirty--cover it up! They've only done this with the west-facing side so far. If they go this route with the other roof, the Seahawks are officially dead to me.* And yes, it's called Seahawks Stadium. Neither Qwest Communications International, Inc. nor their $75 million have any bearing on what I call the place.
09 June 2010
It's a Fucking Weblog!
...Because that's exactly what the world needs, isn't it? One more unemployed newspaperite dumping his random musings on the Internet.
What are these musings going to be? Depends on how lazy I am. Ideally, it would be more than some dude writing about his monotonous life (and oh, how monotonous it is!). Perhaps I'll manage to get back to writing about all the crazy goings-on in the ridiculous local political scene. Maybe not. Maybe I'll just sit in my basement writing about my cats. And I don't even have cats. Whatever happens, it'll probably be a bit of a rocky start, but that's ok...because no one knows it's here!
And anyway, this "introductory" post is really more for the benefit of all our readers months and years down the line, who want to see where it "all" "started." Right? Sure.
What are these musings going to be? Depends on how lazy I am. Ideally, it would be more than some dude writing about his monotonous life (and oh, how monotonous it is!). Perhaps I'll manage to get back to writing about all the crazy goings-on in the ridiculous local political scene. Maybe not. Maybe I'll just sit in my basement writing about my cats. And I don't even have cats. Whatever happens, it'll probably be a bit of a rocky start, but that's ok...because no one knows it's here!
And anyway, this "introductory" post is really more for the benefit of all our readers months and years down the line, who want to see where it "all" "started." Right? Sure.
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